Saturday, 27 July 2024

Ego: The Hidden Barrier to Effective Interpersonal Skills

#InsightsOnInterPersonal" #InsightfulJourney  #InterpersonalSkills

Ego: The Hidden Barrier to Effective Interpersonal Skills

🧠🚫 There is a hidden barrier that often hinders our ability to develop and maintain effective interpersonal skills - our ego. πŸ’­

Ego can best be described as our sense of self-importance, our need to be recognized and praised by others. In a world that glorifies individual success and achievement, it's easy to fall into the trap of ego. We constantly seek validation and feel superior to those around us. In reality, ego is the enemy of progress and growth. πŸ™…‍♂️

Ego can be a significant obstacle in developing and maintaining effective interpersonal skills. here is how :

Lack of Empathy: When ego takes over, individuals often become more focused on their needs and perspectives, making it difficult to understand and empathize with others. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

Poor Listening Skills: An inflated ego can cause someone to dominate conversations, interrupt others, or dismiss their viewpoints. 

Resistance to Feedback: Ego can make it challenging for individuals to accept constructive criticism. They may become defensive or dismissive, missing out on opportunities for personal growth and improvement.

Difficulty in Building Trust: Trust is a cornerstone of strong interpersonal relationships. An ego-driven person may struggle to build trust as they might come across as arrogant or self-centered

Conflict Escalation: Ego can intensify conflicts, as individuals may be unwilling to compromise or admit fault. 

Inhibiting Collaboration: Ego can hinder collaboration by creating an environment where only one person's ideas and opinions are valued.




Thus, From 'EGO' if you remove 'E' Then you can 'GO' on a successful path





how interpersonal skills help in overcoming the obstacle

#InsightsOnInterPersonal" #InsightfulJourney  #InterpersonalSkills

"how interpersonal skills help in overcoming the obstacle"

An obstacle is something that blocks your way or prevents progress. In essence, obstacles are hurdles or impediments that make it difficult to achieve a goal or move forward.

Every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition. Also, Every obstacle is unique to each of us. But the responses they elicit are the same. Fear, Frustration, Confusion, Helplessness, Depression, Anger.

Overcoming obstacles is a discipline of three critical steps., three interdependent, interconnected, and fluidly contingent disciplines are Perception, Action, and the will.


Perception: Perception is how we see and understand what occurs around us. In essence, perception shapes your response to obstacles, turning potential setbacks into stepping stones for growth and success. Perception plays a crucial role in overcoming obstacles. Here's how

Recognize your inner power
Positive Mindset
Steady your nerves
Control your emotions
Practice Objectivity
Think Differently
Finding the right opportunity.

Action: Our Action speaks louder than words. We should always greet our obstacles with the following actions:

With channelized energy
With persistence
With a coherent and deliberate process
With iteration and resilience
With pragmatism
With strategic vision
With craftiness and savvy
And an eye for opportunity and pivotal moments.

Will: Will is our internal power which can never be affected by the outside world. It is our final trump card.  That's Will Power. In every situation, we 

Always prepare ourselves for more difficult times.
Always accept what we are unable to change
Always manage our expectations
Always persevere
Always learn to love our fate and what happens to us.
Always protect our inner self, and retreat into ourselves.

Lastly I can say Obstacle is the way and take it as an opportunity. 



Build Empathy and Understanding to strengthen relationships

 #InsightsOnInterPersonal" #InsightfulJourney  #InterpersonalSkills

"Build Empathy and Understanding to strengthen relationships"

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and to put ourselves in someone else's shoes. When we practice empathy, we make a conscious effort to listen and understand the emotions and experiences of others. Being empathetic doesn't mean we have to agree with someone's viewpoint, but it does mean acknowledging and validating their feelings.

Empathy also helps us to improve our communication skills. It creates a safe and nurturing environment for open and honest communication.

Here are some key strategies to help you develop empathy and understanding:

Active Listening: Active listening involves paying full attention to the speaker by hearing their words and trying to understand their thoughts and feelings. πŸ’­

Ask Open-Ended Questions: The type of questions we ask can greatly impact the depth of conversation and connection we have with others. ❔

Validate Feelings: Acknowledge and accept the other person's emotions, even if you don't fully understand them. πŸ™‚

Share Your Feelings: Being open about your own emotions can create a safe space for others to do the same. It builds trust. πŸ™‚

Practice Perspective-Taking: Try to see situations from the other person's point of view. This can help you understand their reactions and feelings better. 🫢🏻

Show Compassion: Small acts of kindness and support can go a long way in showing empathy. Whether it's offering help or simply being there for someone, these actions matter. πŸ™‹‍♀️

Be Patient and Non-Judgmental: Give people the time they need to express themselves and avoid making quick judgments. This fosters a more open and trusting environment. ⚖️

Empathy is crucial for building a more inclusive and empathetic society.




Develop strategies to handle and resolve conflicts

#InsightsOnInterPersonal" #InsightfulJourney  #InterpersonalSkills

"Develop strategies to handle and resolve conflicts."

Conflict resolution is a crucial skill in both personal and professional environments. It is vital for maintaining a harmonious and productivity in both places.

Here are some strategies to help handle and resolve conflicts effectively:

1. Active Listening

•  Listen without interrupting: Let the other person express their thoughts and feelings fully.

•  Show empathy: Acknowledge their emotions and perspectives.


2. Clear Communication

•  Use "I" statements: Express your feelings and needs without blaming others.

•  Be specific: Clearly articulate the issue and avoid vague statements.


3. Stay Calm and Composed

•  Manage your emotions: Take deep breaths and stay calm to think clearly.

•  Avoid escalation: Keep the conversation respectful and avoid raising your voice.


4. Seek Common Ground

•  Identify shared goals: Focus on what both parties want to achieve.

•  Find mutual interests: Look for areas where you can agree and build from there.


5. Problem-Solving Approach

•  Brainstorm solutions: Collaborate to come up with multiple options.

•  Evaluate options: Discuss the pros and cons of each solution together.


6. Compromise and Negotiate

•  Be flexible: Be willing to give and take to reach a mutually acceptable solution.

•  Set clear agreements: Ensure both parties understand and agree to the terms.


7. Follow-Up

•  Check-in: Follow up to ensure the solution is working and address any new issues.

•  Adjust if necessary: Be open to making changes if the initial solution isn't effective.


In conclusion, effective conflict resolution requires patience, empathy, and clear communication. By actively listening, seeking common ground, and working collaboratively towards a solution we can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and stronger relationships. 




Sunday, 21 July 2024

Act of Active Listening.

 #InsightsOnInterPersonal" #InsightfulJourney  #InterpersonalSkills

"Act of Active Listening."

πŸ‘‚ Active listening is a powerful tool that can greatly enhance communication and understanding in any relationship or interaction. Many of us may think that we are good listeners, but in reality, our minds are often preoccupied with our thoughts and opinions rather than truly focusing on what the other person is saying. 

So what exactly is active listening?

Active listening is a crucial component of effective communication. It involves fully concentrating on what the speaker is saying, understanding their message, and responding appropriately.

Active listening requires great patience, concentration, and an open mind.

Here are some points that describe the importance of active listening and how to practice it.

πŸ‘‚ Pay Attention: Active listening begins with giving your undivided attention to the speaker. It shows respect and allows you to grasp their message fully. It is a way of paying attention to the speaker's body language, tone of voice, and emotions.

🀝 Show Interest: Maintaining eye contact, and asking follow-up questions can encourage the speaker to open up and share more details.

πŸ™…‍♀️Don't Become Interrupter: This can happen if we are not fully present in the conversation, jump to conclusions, or interrupt the speaker. Be open and genuine and respect other's perspectives.

❔Ask Insightful Questions: Asking thoughtful questions, it encourages others to share their perspectives and insights. In the professional world, asking insightful questions is a key skill that can help us succeed.

πŸ‘Ÿ Step into Their Shoes: πŸ‘€: Acknowledging someone's emotions and showing that you care can make a big difference in their life. It is only when we put ourselves in their shoes that we can truly understand their point of view.

Improving active listening can significantly enhance your communication skills and build stronger relationships.




Friday, 19 July 2024

Manage stress in interpersonal interactions.

#InsightsOnInterPersonal" #InsightfulJourney  #InterpersonalSkills

"Manage stress in interpersonal interactions."

🧘‍♀️ Stress is a natural and inevitable part of life. It is crucial to have effective stress management techniques to maintain a healthy balance in our lives.

1. Self-Awareness

Recognize Triggers: Identify what specifically causes you stress in interactions.

2. Communication Skills

Active Support: Focus on truly understanding what the other person is saying. Talk to friends, family, or a counselor about your stress

3. Emotional Regulation

Stay Calm: Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques to stay calm. Take a short break to cool down.

4. Healthy Lifestyle

Exercise Regularly: Physical activity can help reduce stress and eat a balanced diet.

5. Time Management

Prioritize Tasks: Focus on what’s most important manage your time effectively and learn to say No.

6. Positive Thinking

Stay Positive: Focus on positive aspects of interactions and practice gratitude.

7. Relaxation Techniques

Practice Relaxation: Engage in activities like yoga, meditation, or hobbies that relax you, and also take regular breaks.

8. Professional Help

Therapy & Workshops: Consider professional help and attend stress management workshops or seminars.

9. Mindfulness

Mindful Interactions: Practice being present in the moment to reduce anxiety about the past or future.

10. Empathy

Understand Others and Show Compassion: Be compassionate and understanding towards others’ feelings.

11. Assertiveness

Be Assertive: Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully.

12. Gratitude

Express Gratitude: Regularly express gratitude towards others.

13. Continuous Learning

Learn and Adapt: Continuously learn new stress management techniques and adapt them.

It is essential to promote better relationships and maintain our well-being.



Thursday, 18 July 2024

The Path Forward: Strategies for Overcoming Workplace Obstacles


πŸš€ The workplace is full of challenges, and overcoming obstacles is essential for personal and professional growth. πŸ’ͺ πŸ‘§

Maintain a Positive Attitude: Staying positive can help us to stay motivated and focused on findingsolutions rather than dwelling on problems

Seek Support: Don't hesitate to ask for help from colleagues, mentors, or supervisors. Collaborationcanlead to innovative solutions and shared success.

Improve Communication: Clear and open communication is crucial. Ensure that instructions are understood & feedback is taken positively and any misunderstandings are promptly addressed.

Set Realistic Goals: Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable goals. This can help us track progress and stay organized.

Develop Resilience: Building resilience can help us to cope with stress and bounce back from setbacks. Techniques such as mindfulness, exercise, and maintaining a work-life balance can be beneficial.

Encourage Teamwork: Foster a collaborative environment where team members support each other. This can enhance problem-solving and create a more cohesive work atmosphere

Address Conflicts Promptly: Conflict is inevitable, but addressing it early and constructively can prevent it from escalating. 

Invest in Professional Development: Continuously improving your skills and knowledge can help us to stay ahead of challenges and increase our confidence in handling them.

Delegate When Necessary: If you're in a leadership role, know when to delegate tasks. This helps us to manage our workload.

Stay Adaptable: The workplace is constantly evolving. Being adaptable and open to change can help you navigate new challenges more effectively

Every challenge is an opportunity for growth and learning, and staying positive and focused can help us find solutions faster.πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️

#InsightOnInterpersonal #InsightfulJourney #InterpersonalSkills




 


Monday, 22 April 2024

Anna Radulovski Speaking at Women in Tech Global Conference 2024 #womenintech #womenwhocode #womeninstem #WTGC2024 @womentechnet

Anna Radulovski Speaking at Women in Tech Global Conference 2024 #womenintech #womenwhocode #womeninstem #WTGC2024 @womentechnet : WomenTech Network​ is a ​community that promotes ​gender diversity in tech and connects talented and skilled professionals with top companies and leading startups that value diversity, inclusion and strive to create a culture of belonging.

Inclusive Leadership in Cyber, Data Governance and Ethical Tech practices by Mansi Sharma, Regional Information Security Officer at British Standards Institution (BSI). Women in Tech Global Conference #womenintech #womeninstem #womenwhocode #WTGC2024 @womentechnet

Inclusive Leadership in Cyber, Data Governance and Ethical Tech practices by Mansi Sharma, Regional Information Security Officer at British Standards Institution (BSI). Women in Tech Global Conference #womenintech #womeninstem #womenwhocode #WTGC2024 @womentechnet : WomenTech Network​ is a ​community that promotes ​gender diversity in tech and connects talented and skilled professionals with top companies and leading startups that value diversity, inclusion and strive to create a culture of belonging.

Sunday, 8 October 2023

Responsible AI

Google has put AI principles in place.

Many of us already have daily interactions with artificial intelligence or AI, from predictions for traffic and weather to recommendations for TV shows you might like to watch next.

As AI becomes more common, many technologies that aren't AI enabled may start to seem inadequate.

Now, AI systems are enabling computers to see, understand, and interact with the world in ways that were unimaginable just a decade ago. These systems are developing at an extraordinary pace. Yet, despite these remarkable advancements, AI is not infallible. Developing responsible AI requires an understanding of the possible issues, limitations, or unintended consequences. Technology is a reflection of what exist in society.

Without good practices, AI may replicate existing issues or bias and amplify them.

But there isn't a universal definition of responsible AI, nor is there a simple checklist or formula that defines how responsible AI practices should be implemented.

Instead, organizations are developing their own AI principles that reflect their mission and values.

While these principles are unique to every organization, if you look for common themes, you find a consistent set of ideas across transparency, fairness, accountability, and privacy.

At Google, approach to responsible AI is rooted in a commitment, to strive towards AI that's built for everyone that's accountable and safe, that respects privacy, and that is driven by scientific excellence. They have developed own AI principles, practices, governance processes, and tools that together embody values and guide the approach to responsible AI.

Responsible AI doesn't mean to focus only on the obviously controversial use cases. Without Responsible AI practices, even seemingly innocuous AI use cases, or those with good intent could still cause ethical issues or unintended outcomes, or not be as beneficial as they could be. Ethics and responsibility are important, not least because they represent the right thing to do, but also because they can guide AI designed to be more beneficial for people's lives.

In June 2018, Google announced seven AI principles to guide our work:

• One, AI should be socially beneficial.

Any project should take into account a broad range of social and economic factors, and Google will proceed only where google believe that the overall likely benefits substantially exceed the foreseeable risks and downsides.

• Two, AI should avoid creating or reinforcing unfair bias.

Google seek to avoid unjust effects on people, particularly those related to sensitive characteristics, such as race, ethnicity, gender, nationality, income, sexual orientation, ability, and political or religious belief.

• Three, AI should be built and tested for safety.

Google will continue to develop and apply strong safety and security practices to
avoid unintended results that create risks of home.

• Four, AI should be accountable to people.

Google will design AI systems that provide appropriate opportunities for feedback,
relevant explanations, and appeal.

• Five, AI should incorporate privacy design principles.

Google will give opportunity for notice and consent, encourage architectures with
privacy safeguards, and provide appropriate transparency and control over the use of data.

• Six, AI should uphold high standards of scientific excellence.

Google will work with a range of stakeholders to promote thoughtful leadership in this area, during on scientifically rigorous and multi-disciplinary approaches.

Google will responsibly share AI knowledge by publishing educational materials, best practices, and research thus enable more people to develop useful AI applications.

• Seven, AI should be made available for uses that accord with these principles.

Many technologies have multiple uses.

Google will work to limit potentially harmful or abusive applications.

That is a brief introduction about Responsible AI.

Friday, 6 October 2023

Generative AI

What is Generative AI? 

Generative AI is a type of artificial intelligence that creates new content based on what it has learned from existing content. The process of learning from existing content is called training. And results in the creation of a statistical model when given a prompt, generative AI uses the model to predict what an expected response might be, and this generates new content. Essentially, it learns the underlying structure of the data.

Generative AI is a type of artificial intelligence (AI) that can create new content, such as text, images, audio, and video. It does this by learning from existing data and then using that knowledge to generate new and unique outputs.

Generative AI is used in a variety of applications, including 

1.Artificial Art: Generative AI can be used to create new pieces of art, such as paintings, sculptures, and music. 
2. Text generation: Generative AI can be used to generate new text, such as news articles, blog posts, and marketing copy. 
3. Image generation: Generative AI can be used to generate new images, such as product photos, stock photos, and marketing materials. 
4. Video generation: Generative AI can be used to generate new videos, such as product demos, training videos, and marketing videos.
5. Audio generation: Generative AI can be used to generate new audio, such as music, podcasts, and audiobooks.

A foundation model is a large AI model pretrained on a vast quantity of data that was "designed to be adapted” (or fine-tuned) to a wide range of downstream tasks, such as sentiment analysis, image captioning, and object recognition. 


Hallucinations are words or phrases that are generated by the model that are often nonsensical or grammatically incorrect.

  These are the factors that can cause hallucinations:
   The model is not given enough context. 
   The model is not trained on enough data. 
   The model is trained on noisy or dirty data. 


Prompt: A prompt is a short piece of text that is given to the large language model as input, and it can be used to control the output of the model in many ways. 

Example of both a generative AI model and a discriminative AI model: 

    A generative AI model could be trained on a dataset of images of cats and then used to generate new images of cats. 

   A discriminative AI model could be trained on a dataset of images of cats and dogs and then used to classify new images as either cats or dogs.

SSL

SSL

What is SSL and why is it important?

Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) certificates, sometimes called digital certificates, are used to establish an encrypted connection between a browser or user’s computer and a server or website.

 

SSL: SECURE SOCKETS LAYER

SSL is standard technology for securing an internet connection by encrypting data sent between a website and a browser (or between two servers). It prevents hackers from seeing or stealing any information transferred, including personal or financial data.

 

HOW DO SSL CERTIFICATES WORK?

SSL certificates establish an encrypted connection between a website/server and a browser with what’s known as an “SSL handshake.” For visitors to your website, the process is invisible — and instantaneous.


Authentication

For every new session a user begins on your website, their browser and your server exchange and validate each other’s SSL certificates.


 

Encryption

Your server shares its public key with the browser, which the browser then uses to create and encrypt a pre-master key. This is called the key exchange.


 

Decryption

The server decrypts the pre-master key with its private key, establishing a secure, encrypted connection used for the duration of the session

Monday, 9 May 2022

The Goal of our Life

 A goal is an objective or target that someone is trying to reach and achieve. It is an aim that we work towards with all your efforts and determination. There are three types of goals- process , performance and Outcome. They have a linear relationship. If you achieve your process goal they have good chance to achieve your performance goal and similarly if you achieve your performance goal you have better chance  to achieve outcome goal. Set SMART(Specific, Measurable, Attainable , Relevant, Time Based )goal to give you the best chance of success.

There are some goal ideas that bring a change in your life and focus on personal growth and good life.

1)  Pursue equanimity in yourself:- 
Equanimity is defined as peak calmness and composure no matter what life is throwing at you. The best way to find equanimity is to practice yourself in tough situation again and again.

2) Travel as often as you can:-

Travel not only opens your mind but also it helps to interact with new people, new culture and new experience. It also helps you to grow as a person by reminding you that there is more life outside your comfort zone area , outside your own personal bubble making this one of the best goals in life to set.

3) Practice Mindfulness:-
Mindfulness is most effective when it is practiced daily. just sit and simply pay attention to your surrounding and your thoughts and its done. there are several things that we can practice like 
1) start a gratitude and self love journal 
2) try to do some meditation and breathing exercise in a Day.
3) Become a better listener and communicator.
4) Stop Rushing on unnecessary things. 
5) have faith and peace in yourself and your surrounding.

4) Love your life:-
Love your life for what it is not what you think it should be. The only way to love is to just accept whatever life has given to us.

5) Stop Rushing:-

Don't rush yourself for unnecessary things. Try to get yourselves grounded and never compare your life with others. It is your journey your life and your expectation then why to run.




Monday, 2 May 2022

Your Success is what you have attained within

 Success is something that you have to define for yourself, and no one can do it for you. Success could mean a sense of giving back to the world and making a difference. It could mean a sense of accomplishment and career progression. It could mean being able to do the things you love. It could mean being able to provide the best possible upbringing for your children. It’s entirely up to us.


Success doesn’t mean copying what someone else is doing as a metric of your worth. If you use a comparison of achievements as a regular practice, you’re using an unhealthy and toxic practice. STOP that SHIT!

Take a moment. Close your eyes. Imagine your life the way you would like it to turn out. Simply list all the milestones you want to achieve in different areas of your life. List the principles, habits, career path, relationships, and possessions that define this version of you. If you are nothing outside but are happy within, you have all success. So you cannot judge people by their outer circumstances.


It is the moral success which gives more happiness than material success. In moral success , there is a psychological happiness that cannot be taken away by any physical condition.

you can spend all your life making money but it won't produce the long lasting comfort and security you are looking for. In fact, it will bring misery because peace and happiness are in the mind not in things.


Your happiness is your success so don't let anyone to take away your success. Protect yourself from those who try to make you unhappy. when your conscience is clear, when you know you are doing right, you are not afraid of anything. So never look happiness in things because a wealth of happiness is within. Stop comparison and try to live life the way you want to live then that can be called as real success which in within. On this Note, stay happy , be successful, stay blessed.

Sunday, 1 May 2022

The Power of Thoughts

Mind Power is one of the strongest and most useful power we possess. This power together with your imagination can create success or failure, happiness or unhappiness , obstacles or opportunities. This depends on our mindset. As our thoughts are, so it our life. weak thoughts hardly have any effect but powerful thoughts can create great changes in anyone's life. No one  else is responsible for you. you alone are responsible for yourself. Just like wind which is invisible but so powerful so as the power of our minds and thoughts. Thoughts are energy though invisible but affect reality. No one else may answer your deed when the final day come. It is you who is responsible for your karma and all your past activities.

Thoughts are like video that plays on the screen of your mind. what you play there determines the kind of life you experience. To make changes in our life, we have to play different videos. It is our thoughts that affects our subconscious mind which in turn influences our actions accordingly. Inner peace and strength will come when we think positively and our attention and enthusiasm makes our thoughts simple , clear and powerful. Powerful and mindful thoughts affect our life and it can affect other life as well so always be careful what you think. it is the thought that brings happiness and that makes our life live in heaven or hell. 

So, Always try to live in present and rule your life with positive mindset otherwise it will create a mess if you imagine more about future or think too much about past.  As per personal experience, I am saying so. when we are alone we always be calm and and to deep down your thoughts in that way so that it motivates you to do something good. On this Note , try to create good memories , always think positive , never try to rule your mind on you and stay happy and stay blessed.



Heaven is within , Not in Things

 The word for heaven in Greek can be translated as sky. It is not something that exist eternally but part of creation. we should  be grateful for everything that came to us. With all that you have we should always be thankful to god. Our wants are endless. Day by day our desire become this and that and it is like a endless trap. the thing is that it is not wrong to have possession but it is wrong to be possessed by possession. we must be free of attachment. 

My heaven is within me. whether is a heaven or other place , it is because of my inner heaven that makes it more beautiful to live and enjoy. without that inner contentment and peace even a paradise on earth or somewhere else it will become a hell for us. The greatest enemy of happiness is selfish desires. even you get them but still not happy. when we buy something new it will give me happiness but still it's an illusion because when the newness of that thing ends we forget about that and then we again want something new.so it is like a loop and moreover like a trap.

Control your life , make it simple as you can. Have money in the bank for needs and emergencies what i have learned from my husband. Save more than you spend and never spend on unnecessary things and try to be like you are earning for someone else. whether you are living on the surface or you are depth inside the sea always believe in yourself and keep faith  in God. Never become the slave of anything whether it is material thing or your thoughts or money. Try to run your life by yourself only.  On this note keep your thoughts clear stay in peace and stay happy.

Life should be Simplified

 If you analyze objectively the ideology of human behavior, you would see how humorous some of our habits and customs are. Once in a while it is good to get away from conformity to a monotonous schedule. To be methodical and efficient is commendable but to become very organized is detriment to happiness.

In India, homes are simple ,dress is simple. Here ,life is so complicated that happiness flies away while you are trying to do certain things in a certain way or manner. why complicate life by insisting table must be just so, house must be just so. when we invite people to our home , everyone dances with joy. They enjoy that moment to the fullest. 

Life should be simple ; dress should be clean and simple; eating should be simple. I used to think it was so economical to eat in a restaurant but once in a while . My principle of life is so simple Live and let live. Do the things with as much simplicity as you can. what I  have learned from my husband that be as much simple and be the minimalist. own only that things that is necessary for your living. then life will automatically become easy. on this note stay happy be happy.

                                                                        

Sunday, 19 May 2019

Secret of life

Always replace one worry with another. A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it